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This past weekend I drove 7 hours with my brother and his girlfriend to visit our family back in Iowa. I normally bring food with me because I have a love/hate relationship with fast food. Fast Food Nation anyone? But those french fries are sooo good. Until I check my blood sugar two hours later. Anyway, this time I didn't bring my dinner so we stopped by a McDonald's. This was a small MDs connected to a gas station and had limited options. No salads. So I get some chicken nuggets and a small fry.
We get home around 11:30 pm (I ate at 9:30). My mom is right at the door and grabs my face in two hands and tells me how great it is to see me. I pull back and scowl at her. I normally have a pretty big personal bubble, but this is something I should have been prepared for. I remember thinking "gah! Leave me alone! I've been in a car for 7 hours and I don't want anyone touching me! What are you thinking!?" Then I sit down, pull out my meter and check in a 270. That does nothing but piss me off. Why did I eat those fries? And why am I so freaking pissed off right now? I then told my family that I had a high blood sugar and was angry and I was going to bed. I check my bs at 2 and it was back to normal.
Then on Sunday I went for a walk with the whole family, 2 year old nephew as well. It wasn't a long walk but about half way through I start thinking I'm feeling weird. But I had just eaten an hour ago. After about five minutes of feeling strange I make the decision to grab my 17 year old sister and make her walk with me straight back home. I get back in a couple minutes, check and am at 50. I correct with food and am fine.
These experiences aren't strange for me. I have highs and lows and they rarely scare me anymore. But I talked to my mom yesterday on the phone and she said she was very worked up over the high and low. Since I wasn't diagnosed until I was 24, my parents haven't ever lived with me to see me in all these situations. This was the first time she's seen me either low or high and she said it really scared her. It strange to think about how little they see or know about my diabetic experiences, but how worried they are over the bit that they see. It makes me wonder how they would react if I ever had to live with them (gah!) and they saw it all the time. I imagine they'd get used to it after awhile. As I have.
posted by Tekakwitha @ 9:51 AM
2 comments
2 Comments:
T-
The highs and lows, yeah, as a parent, you kind of get used to them-- in that you recognize the emotions and behaviors that are triggered by them.
But what really doesn't go away is the pain of seeing your child feeling so out of sorts or worse, and knowing that (especially with a high) there's little to do but treat, and ride it out with them.
I can understand your mother's reaction to seeing you go through these extremes-- especially if it was the first time. It must have been painful for her to see first hand how the highs and lows of diabetes can have such an immediate, dramatic effect on how you feel.
I also was dx'ed @ 24 with T1 Diabetes. It's been about 3.5 years since then and, though I've learned a lot and have been doing my best, I don't feel like I have things under control right now. I often have swings in my blood sugar from hi to low to hi again and it can be very frustrating. Not only has it been frustrating for me, but it has been that way for my Mom too. Actually, I think she's felt that way since Day 1 of my diagnosis. I really don't know which is worse...to have the disease yourself or watch someone you care about trying to manage it. At times, I've been annoyed with my family for not taking more of a part in my diabetes, I almost feel like they just don't care. As time has gone on, I realize that they do care, but it's just hard for them to know how to help me when I'm going through a difficult time. They feel helpless. I know they love and care about me, but I don't think they really understand what I go through. Maybe that would be different if I was dx'ed as a child (they'd have to take more of an active role), but I guess if I had to have this disease I'm glad I got it as an adult. Going thru childhood and adolescence is hard enough w/o dealing with a disease like Diabetes. Anyway...sorry for this rambling post, but I just wanted to let you know that I understand and can relate.
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