'Super Good Job'

I guess I'm a bit, um, anal retentive. I was so worried about my A1c since I had been having some higher numbers that I failed to look at how I was doing overall. I went to my endocrinologist yesterday. They downloaded my pump and meter and analyzed my numbers while they also took a blood sample to check my A1c. We chatted a bit about the number and then he looked down to see that my A1c was 5.4. Ho. Ly. Crap.

Turns out he thought my numbers were great. I also lost 10 pounds since my last visit which is pretty close to where I want to be. He even wrote, on my evaluation sheet I get at the end that sums up the appointment, “Super Good Job.” That’s right. It’s like I got an A+ from my doctor.

Anyway, now I’m almost embarrassed for how worked up I’ve been lately about how well I’m doing. I guess I’m a perfectionist of sorts, although there are MANY things that I could careless about doing perfectly.

It was great new and hopefully I won’t get horrible news from my Otolaryngologist at today’s appointment.

Cycles

It all goes in cycles. For several months this summer I was great. Great blood sugar, eating great, perfect weight, great social life etc. The past few weeks I've been letting myself get down. I see it happening, I feel like I can probably snap out of it if I just tried but it seems easier to just wallow in self pity sometimes. That is until I become so annoyed with myself that I finally try to snap out of it. Begin snap out of it phase.

I've been avoiding my blog because I was afraid of the boring, whine-tastic stuff I'd write. If I had been posted I would have talked about:

1. My visit to my general doctor about a constant ringing/popping in my ears accompanied by a headache. This has been going on for a few months now and it seems to be getting worse. My dad has tinnitus (ringing in the ears) but he got it when he was in his 40s, after working in many loud work environments. I figured I had something else, something that could be fixed. I haven't been doing anything to damage my ears. So I go to my doctor and she was horribly rude. Basically told me I would have this for the rest of my life and their is no cure (Thanks Doctor. I know what a chronic disease is.), but she would send me to a specialist. I have an appointment with an ENT (Ear, nose, throat) tomorrow. I also have some sinus/allergy stuff going on which is making everything worse. Needless to say, I wasn't happy after this.

2. My blood sugars haven't been all that great. Have I been slacking off? I didn't think I was slacking off, but what's the deal with these stupid 200s? and why don't I have any willpower? That cake/pie/cookie didn't even taste that great.

3. Exercise, or lack of. I haven't been to my gym in at least 6 weeks. I can't even find my card. What's with that? I'm in a bad mood so I don't go work out? That's the opposite of logical. You KNOW you feel better when you are exercising regularly. Blah blah blah.

4. New Friend. Yeah, the guy? The one who asked for my phone number and said we should hangout sometime soon? We've hung out, as friends. He's now started dating some other girl. I'm sooo good at reading people.

So, that's what I would have gone into way too much detail bitching about. Glad that's done.

This afternoon I have an endocrinologist appointment. I'll get my blood tests and see how I've actually been doing. Tomorrow I have my appointment with the ENT about the ringing in my ears. I hope to NOT have to get an MRI, which my regular doctor said I might need. Wednesday, I start back at my gym. No more excuses. I'll also start back up with the blog. I have almost reached my goal of $1000 for the JDRF walk and just emailed all my rich aunts and uncles today (after raising my goal) in hopes to bring in even more.

Good for now.

Thanks for your advice. I have slowly been increasing my basal rate and testing my bolus rates to make sure they are correct. I think I have it set (for now) to the perfect rate. What's so great about diabetes is that you can't just 'set it and forget it' because you're always changing, due to honeymooning, hormones, age etc. What fun! :)

What IS fun is getting donations for my walk. I have really great friends. A bunch of my friends are in grad school still but have donated significant amounts of money. It's such a good feeling to be able to raise this money, so hopeful.

And now on to the exciting stuff. I posted a very short paragraph about a cute guy that I was excited to run into at a party in April or May. Nothing happened with him because I seemed to have reverted back to high school mode and just clammed up when he was around. Great way to get to know someone. :) Recently I've just kind of relaxed and was able to be myself since I'd kind of given up on the possibility of dating him. On Friday night I grilling party in my backyard and he showed with some friends. He asked for my number and suggested meeting up after work sometime, since he lives in the neighborhood I work in. I was so shocked I think my jaw may have visibly dropped for a moment. It was just so out of the blue! Anyway, now I get to enjoy the fun part of waiting for a call, so I figured I share it with all of you so you can wait with me. :)

End of the Honeymoon?

I'm curious, for those of you that remember, what the end of the honeymoon period is like. Is it sudden, like within a few days/weeks? Or is it drawn out over months? I ask because for the past few weeks I've been having some highs. Nothing drastic, but 2 hours after eating, when I am eating the same thing that I always do and normally bring it right back down to 100 or so, it's 150. So I correct and then it's back to 100 in two more hours.

I'm playing with my basal rate which previously was so low that I had a basal rate of 0 from 8am to 8pm. I've had to increase the basal during the night time as well since I've been waking up a bit higher than normal.

I just get so nervous when I change my rates. I hate the lows but I do like to keep tight control.

Any ideas/tips would be welcome. I got see my endocrinologist at the end of the month so I'll talk to him about it too.

It's time

Since being diagnosed I've been wrapped up in my own care that I haven't done a thing to help The Cause. So I've decided it's time. I've signed up to walk the Ron Santo Walk to Cure Diabetes. I didn't want to walk alone so I asked my brother and roommate if they'd join me. They both plan on signing up as well. My brother's excited because he gets to pay back all those co-workers of his who always are asking him for money for various fund raisers for their kids. :)

While signing up it asks you for a goal amount to raise. The site said most people do $100. What? Only $100!? That made me nervous about raising money. Maybe it's really hard? I haven't done this sort of thing since doing a Dance Marathon in college ('dance' or stay on your feet for 24 hours and raise tons of money for kids with cancer). I think I raised most of my money through the company I interned with in the summer. Anyway, I put a goal of $400 but hope to raise much more than that.

What I'm nervous about is that I'll be using myself to guilt people into donation essentially. Or at least that's how I see it now.

Co-worker A: Hi Tekakwitha. How's it going?
Me: Oh, it's great. But it sure would be better if I didn't have this damn diabetes! How about you give me money so others can find a cure for me!
Co-worker A: ummmm...

Okay, so that's not how I'm going to do it. And it's actually not how I feel about it. I don't want to feel like I'm doing this for myself. I want people to know that I'm doing this for others. "I'm doing it for the children!" is what I'd like to say. But that's way cheesy. Reading Shannon, Martha & Sandra's blogs about their experience as mothers of young diabetics has really moved me. These kids are SO strong and seem to be dealing with this burden with great attitudes (and parents!). But they shouldn't have to!

Anyway, the walk is in October and I just sent out my first 'donate please' email. I also plan on donating a big chunk of paycheck myself. I'm excited about the walk too, not just raising money for The Cause. To be surrounded by people and their families that are affected by diabetes will be quite an experience I think.

Pretty little white oval

It was a successful trip to California! My friends got married, I got to see the ocean and spend five days away from the office. But by Sunday night, after laying on the beach for only 1 hour, the painful burns on my legs made my desire to get back to the Midwest even stronger. See, my top have gets sun all the time, but my white thighs? Nope. It was a special walk through the airport, attempting to walk and hold the front of my pants away from my burnt thighs.

The best part is that I had my infusion site on my leg and now I have a perfect little white oval on my leg.

My blood sugars were surprisingly pretty good throughout my trip, even though my eating times were different as was my diet. The only time I had big problems was on the flight home. My blood sugar was 94, I ate a muffin, took the 'correct' amount of insulin and two hours later was at 233. Oh, that sucks. I take a correction and two hours later am at 215. Huh, that still sucks. I then ate lunch and finally got my blood sugar back down to 110 two hours after. Stupid muffin.